Shut Up Em!
by MisssQueenofChaos
Summary: How Emmett and Jasper handled taking care of James' remains while the others took Bella to the hospital. Let's just say they enjoyed themselves. NOT SLASH! Just showing the brother/brother relationship. R&R please! Rated T for language. :D oneshot


Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Author's note: I know Jasper and Emmett would probably never be this insensitive, but I couldn't resist writing this. It was bothering me ha ha ;D

_Jasper's POV- The ballet studio, Edward has removed Bella and taken her to the hospital, leaving Emmett and Jasper to deal with James' remains..._

"I know we should be, you know, mourning and all for Edward and Bella right now, but..." Emmett's voice trailed off as he stared at the pile of James' many twitching body parts. They would come back together if we didn't burn them soon.

"Emmett, spit it out!"

"It's just so, so bad," Emmett grinned, happy with himself. I could feel the radiating waves of happiness and smugness coming off him. Translation, I knew what he was thinking.

"Well, if we don't burn James-y here soon he's gonna be back. _From the dead_!!" I said making my voice go low and raspy at the end as I wiggled my fingers towards Emmett's face.

"Funny, Jazz. Your hilarious," Emmett rolled his eyes and struck a match, a devilish gleam in his eye. He paused for dramatic effect.

"My God, Emmett get on with it!"

"Fine, ruin my fun..." he continued mumbling under his breath as I pressed my fingers to my temples. This could go on for a while. As Emmett continued lighting the different shapes of rock hard granite that had been James' body, he spoke. "Jazz I don't know why you don't loosen up around everyone else. I mean around Ed and me your this fun, great outgoing, pretty freaking cool guy. But around everyone else your all up tight. And well, I've never seen you alone with Alice..."

"Stop your dirty thoughts."

"I thought Edward was the one who could read minds."

"I may not be able to read minds but I'm not an idiot Em."

"So why _do _you get all uptight?"

I paused, pursing my lips. "I guess, I feel the need to always try to control everyone's emotions. To keep everyone happy, or calm or whatever the hell they need to be feeling. I feel if someone gets upset or frustrated or furious it's because _I've _failed."

"Jazz. You're. An. Idiot," Emmett spoke crisply and clearly. "You think that that's your fault if I get really pissed off and rip up your electric guitar?"

"That was you?" I spoke in a low, vengeful voice. "You!"

Emmett cringed. He may be big and strong but I'm a better fighter. Whether he admits it or not.

"Damn you Emmett!" I told him.

"Now, now don't lose your temper Jazzy."

"Shut up," I grumbled.

"But no seriously. You think that's your fault? You really think that you have to control everyone's emotions? Dude, seriously. Lighten up. People are people. Well, you know what I mean. We all have our own emotions. Just chill okay?"

I nodded and tried to force a smile.

"Dude, lighten up!" Emmett said as he lit the last piece of James.

"I'm not upset because of the point you've made. I'm upset that you ripped my electric guitar to pieces!"

"Yeah well, I'll buy you a new one."

"Five new ones."

"Hell no. One."

"Three."

"Two."

I grinned, "Deal."

Emmett grumbled to himself as he stepped away from the blaze. He smiled. I rolled my eyes.

"Alright, alright!" I laughed. Emmett and I linked arms, skipping around the bonfire that produced a pungent, purple smoke. We both began to see in unison.

"JAMES IS DEAD! DING DONG THE EVIL VAMPIRE IS DEAD! DING DONG THE WICKED VAMPIRE IS DEAD!!"

Continuing our song and chanting, we broke into yelps and screams as we ran around the fire. I flipped over the burning blaze and Emmett did a front flip with a twist to out do me. Show off.

Finally, all of James was ashes and we burnt the rest of the studio.

"Well that was some fun brotherly bonding," I said to Emmett.

"Yes it was. And you better loosen up!"

"Alright, alright," I shrugged, "I will."

"Or I'll tell Alice that you-"

"YOU BROKE MY CURLING IRON!? I WAS PLANNING ON USING THAT ON BELLA'S HAIR FOR PROM!! NOW I HAVE TO GO BUY ANOTHER ONE!!" Alice yelled.

I ducked my head and slapped Emmett in the arm.

Emmett laughed a deep booming laugh, "Got to go!"

He was gone in a flash. I looked up into the face of a glowering Alice.

"...Hello..." I said with an innocent smile.

"Funny, Jazz," she growled. She grabbed my ear and dragged me off towards the door.

"Ouch! Alice that's slightly painful," I complained.

"We are going to have a little talk about breaking my expensive items in our room!" she told me very threateningly.

I heard Emmett's faint laugh echoing around the now burnt ballet studio. "I guess I'll know how you act when your alone with her now."

"SHUT UP EM!" I snarled but let my wife drag me off. This was going to be a long night.


End file.
